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Random Essay ER11: Some people believe that they should be able to keep all the money they earn, and should not have to pay tax to the state. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that they should be able to keep
all the money they earn, and should not have to pay tax to the state. To what
extent do you agree or disagree?
·      A good answer that looks at all the issues presented in the question
would consider the following points:
·      Why people may want to keep all the money they earn
·      Why people should have to pay money to the state
·      So you should brainstorm some ideas around those two questions before you
start to write.
·      And of course it is very important to make sure you are very clear what
your opinion is.
·      Now take a look at the paying taxes essay model answer.
Model Answer
People work hard and
earn money which ideally they would like to retain for themselves. However, a
significant portion of this usually has to be given to the state. In my view,
it is right that people pay their fair share of taxes.
Money is everything
in today’s livelihoods. This is because money is used to buy all the
necessities such as food, water, and shelter. Money is also used to help a
family’s children in the form of school fees and other activities. In addition
to this, people do not only need money to cater for their necessities, but also
for future investments. The more that people have to invest, the more they
believe they can accumulate in the long term. As a result, many are reluctant
to lose some of their income through the deduction of tax.
Nevertheless,
citizens should be obliged to pay taxes to the government for a number of
reasons. They should accept that the taxes they pay help the government offer
them the public services all over the country. These public services are things
such as the construction of roads, bridges, public hospitals, parks and other
public services. The same tax money helps the country’s economy to be stable.
Through taxes, the government can pay off its debts. In short, tax money is a
way of ensuring that people have comfortable livelihoods.
In conclusion, even
though many people think that they should not pay taxes, that money is useful
to the stability of any country. Therefore, people should not avoid paying
taxes as it may affect the country’s economy and services that it provides.
(270 Words)
Comments
Task Response
·     
The question is
fully addressed so the essay would get a good score for task response.
·     
The first body
paragraph explains the reasons why people may not want to pay tax and the second
body paragraph explains why it is important to pay.
·     
Reasons and
examples are given to support the ideas.
·     
The writer’s
opinion is also very clear. It is presented in the thesis statement and
repeated in the conclusion. It is explained in body paragraph two.
Coherence and Cohesion
The paying taxes
essay is well organized. Each of the main points is explained in a separate
paragraph and a logical argument is presented to support the writer’s opinion.
Cohesion is also
maintained by good uses of linking words to join the ideas and paragraphs.
Lexical Resource
There is some good
use of vocabulary and collocations and spelling and word forms are correct.
For example:
·     
a significant
portion of
·     
necessities
·     
accumulate
·     
reluctant to
·     
deduction of tax
·     
be obliged to pay
·     
construction of
·     
the stability of
Grammatical Range and Accuracy 
There is good
accuracy in the grammar and a good range of sentence structures. For example:
·     
People work hard
and earn money which ideally they would like to…. 
·     
This is because
money is used to buy all the necessities such as…
·  people do not
only need money to cater for their necessities, but also for future
investments.
·     
In conclusion,
even though many people think that they should not pay taxes…

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